First of all, I found out he had cheated and I asked him about condom use and he kind of said yes and I half believed him.

The thing is you never know what you’ll feel, right? And the period from when I got tested to when I got the results was the worst of my life, because I didn’t know for sure. I sent a lot of really rude sms’s to my ex at the time, while I was waiting for the test.

My doctor said you’re HIV-positive. For some reason, I felt some relief, okay, at least I know. Now I know what it is, I know what to do and how to deal with it and I’ll deal with it. I wasn’t angry anymore, I lost my anger. I can’t go backwards, I don’t want to go down, there’s only one way to go and that’s forwards, really.

My grandmother is very Christian and for her like, HIV/AIDS is like punishment from God or whatever, I don’t have a Christian background, I don’t think sex is a very bad thing and this is a punishment. For me it’s just like, it’s just a disease, I’ll deal with it.

Me, from day one, I have been open about it to everybody here, people I work with, friends, all my family, I told everybody at the same time.

In the beginning I worried about having a relationship with somebody again – can I still have sex? Would people still want to have sex with me?

I was very, very depressed for a long time and I didn’t see the point of life anymore but looking back on it, with HIV, it’s manageable.

I know I’m educated, I’m not poor, I have medical aid I can search things on the internet, go to the right doctors.

Obviously we all have to die but I don’t want to die young, I want to live life to the fullest and get old.

*Not her real name.